Mastering Emotional Triggers: Insights from Energy Medicine + 10-Step Guide to Calm Your Nervous System

Written By Karandeep Singh

The information contained in this article is educational in nature and is provided only as general information and is not medical or psychological advice. Please refer to the website Disclaimer before proceeding to read this article.

 

The other day, I was talking to my cousin on the phone about the more profound things in life. He told me about how he couldn't focus on anything good that was going on because of a fight he had with his girlfriend on the phone. I asked him if this was the first time something like this had happened, and once he felt comfortable sharing, he opened up about the repeating pattern. While listening to him, I could see that these fights are the same at their core. They have them over and over every few days (more to come on the concept of repeating patterns in another blog). When they happen, they knock him off his center (mentally), and the negative emotions that are "triggered" (anger, frustration, fear, sadness) linger for hours, forming a lens through which he is now perceiving everything in his life, within and around him.

That is just an example of how we experience everything through the lens of how we feel and think (they both influence each other and together form our state of being). This state of being is the lens that I am referring to. When we are feeling happy, to begin with, all neutral things we look at seem to make us happy. It even feels easier to observe the positive aspects of an adverse circumstance through this lens of happiness (or any positive emotion), the proverbial bright side. When we are triggered, this perceptual lens shifts to a different one.

Triggered is a word commonly used to describe a state of being during which a negative emotion is constellated in our psyche, brought upon by something that happens in the present moment and reminds us of a negative past experience. At that moment, we do not have the awareness that these triggered emotions are a response to negative experiences in the past. What we are feeling in the moment makes us think and believe that whatever is happening outside of us is the cause of the horrible big feelings we are experiencing inside of us.

Our bodies are flooded with stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. At the same time, blood flow changes within our brain. It increases in the amygdala (responsible for fight, flight, and freeze) and decreases in the prefrontal cortex of the frontal lobe (the rational brain). Therefore, the way we respond when we are triggered usually does not feel well thought out; we are not thinking clearly at that moment.

Before I delve into the energetic aspects of triggers, I want to preface by stating that we are all energetic beings; we have an energy field (also called an aura) that surrounds us and permeates our bodies. Some spiritual and energy schools even go as far as to say that our energy field holds our body in place and not the other way around. According to these philosophies, a disease manifests first as an imbalance in the energy field before it occurs in the physical body (more on that in another post.)

From an energetic aspect, when we are triggered, our energy fields are stirred up (simplistically stating). The field changes its shape, size, and how the energy is flowing within the field. It forms constriction and stagnation in certain areas and increases energy flow in other areas. This changed configuration (during a trigger activation) is usually the same that the field had when (and as a result of) the negative experience occurred in the past. But why is this happening in the field today when we are triggered? It is time to introduce the concept of… drum roll….. “knots."

Energetic knots (as I call them) are areas in the energy field where energy is not moving as it should be. In many circles, they are called energetic blocks; Barbara Brennan (the founder of Barbara Brennan School of Healing) used to call them time capsules. One of my teachers, Donna Evans Strauss, calls them Thought Spirals. To keep things simple, I will call them energetic knots (or just “knots")

Knots form in the energy field during a negative experience. It holds the memory of that experience, and when something in the present moment reminds our field (not necessarily our conscious brain) of the past negative experience, this knot is activated and changes the configuration of our energy field to make it the same as it was as a result of the past negative experience. Simply stated, it stirs things up in the calm energy field, so we no longer feel relaxed.

Another concept I want to introduce is grounding. We are not only energetic beings but also earth-bound beings in this incarnation. Like we have energy fields, the earth has an energy field of its own, and our field is always in constant communion with it. So, what is grounding? It has many meanings. Psychologically speaking, when we are fully present in the present moment and are not under the influence of a past negative emotion (aka trigger), we are considered "grounded in the present moment." Energetically speaking, we are considered well grounded when the lower half of our energy field is strongly connected to the earth's energy field at its core. Physically speaking, when we are grounded, we feel calm, we feel a sense of neutral well-being in our bodies, and we feel patient. Some would even say that when we are thoroughly grounded in the present moment, it is a type of flow state (more on that in another post). This connection to the earth is meant to be very nourishing, and it is not possible to experience optimal well-being without it. Now, to connect this to our field discussion on triggers, when we are triggered, our field changes its configuration due to activation of the "knot," and it loses (or more like weakens, depending on the intensity of the trigger) its connection to the earth's field. So, our grounding is either lost or weakened when triggered.

Since we have a good enough background on triggers, energy fields, and grounding, now begins the fun part. Let's get to the how of finding your center and balance again after you are triggered :

 

Disclaimer

This Self-Help Guide is solely intended for the reader’s own self-improvement. You agree to assume and accept full responsibility for any and all risks associated with using any of the suggestions or instructions described in this Self-Help Guide. If you experience any emotional distress or physical discomfort using this Self-Help Guide, you are advised to stop and to seek professional care, if appropriate. By continuing to use this Self-Help Guide you agree to fully release and hold harmless, the author from any claim or liability of whatsoever kind or nature which you may incur arising at any time out of or in relation to your use of this Self-Help Guide.

 

Step 1 : Seclude and sit down

Find a private, comfortable place where there isn't a lot of noise or bright lights. Usually, when a trigger is activated, the more stimulation from the outside we experience, the harder it gets to step out of the triggered state. If you are arguing with someone, ask to take a break and gracefully step away. You can inform them that you must step away and calm yourself in order to have a constructive conversation about the issue later. Excuse yourself and find a private place where you can sit down and won't be disturbed for about 10-15 minutes. It can even be the bathroom. It is essential to sit down and pause because if we are performing any activity using our bodies, like performing any chores whilst, in the middle of a trigger, the emotions of the trigger usually fuel our physical actions, and that makes the triggered emotions even worse, it becomes a vicious cycle. Plus, the activity at hand does not get done optimally. I know when I continue to do something while feeling big emotions of anger or fear in the middle of a trigger, I keep bumping into things and get clumsy. Sometimes, that is how I realize that I am triggered.

Step 2 : Eyes

Close them. It is the same principle about reducing outside stimulation. When the eyes are open, we are usually in a faster brain wave state (beta waves while we are neutral or engaged and high-beta brain wave state when triggered). Closing your eyes creates an environment in the brain that makes it more conducive to facilitating alpha brain waves (slower and calming brain waves.)

Step 3 : Breathe

Become aware of your breathing and take ten very slow and deeper breaths. You might find that you are breathing very shallowly and faster than usual. That happens because of the trigger, and your body feels threatened by some outside perceived danger. These days, due to high stress levels in our day-to-day lives, almost everyone has a faster, shallow breathing pattern. Making your breath slower and deeper releases calming and happy chemicals in the bloodstream called "endorphins," and it also activates the vagus nerve (the main nerve associated with the parasympathetic nervous system, which, when stimulated, puts our bodies in a rest & digest state rather than the fight & flight state of the sympathetic nervous system that emerges directly as a result of the trigger.

Step 4 : Heart

In this step, we will work on opening the heart. Place one or both hands at the front of your chest. Find, feel, or imagine a ball of light in the center of your chest. It feels easier to do this if you have already slowed down your breathing. Slowly direct the breath in this area; it will help generate more sensations within your chest. Take your time; don't rush this step. Energetically, this step helps open your heart chakra. You might start experiencing positive feelings and sensations within your chest. You can also think about someone you love and imagine that they are in front of you and you are feeling love for them. Doing this will open your heart even faster. I usually think about my dog Anubis. Once you feel your heart is open enough to your satisfaction, you can place your hand(s) back in your lap or keep them on your chest if you like.

Step 5 : Nature

Experience yourself to be at your favorite nature spot. It can be a beach (my favorite), forest, waterfall, or fairy garden. Notice that I said experience and not visualize. If you are a visual human, visualize yourself being there with your eyes closed. You might have other senses that are stronger than sight. You can imagine hearing the sounds you would listen to at this nature spot. Or feel it on your skin, the temperature, the texture of the ground beneath your feet. You can imagine smelling the air at this spot, the smell of trees, grass, soil after rain, and the river. You can engage more than one sense. The more senses you engage, the stronger the entire experience becomes. Nature does wonders for mental well-being. In nature, the focus of our attention expands instead of being in a narrow state, which is relaxing for the nervous system. In this mental state, looking at any situation from a broader, more holistic perspective is easier. While you do this step with your eyes closed, after a while, your brain starts believing that you are actually present at the nature spot you are imagining yourself to be at.

Step 6 : Ground

When you are deep within your nature experience and continue to feel the love (and energy) in your heart, imagine these sensations dropping down slowly in the lower half of your body like a waterfall. Start with your diaphragm, then make them flow to your upper abdomen, mid abdomen, lower abdomen, pelvis, and down to your feet. Then imagine the waterfall of light dropping further out of your pelvis and feet in Mother Earth's vast, immense energy. Let it fall to the planet's core (the center), forming a connection between your energy and the earth's energetic core. Continue to imagine and feel this until this connection is strong enough to your satisfaction.

Step 7 : Mantra

By now, you will find yourself in a very relaxed state. In this state, your brain is more likely to believe and take in whatever affirmation you tell yourself. My favorite one is "I am safe in my body." You can come up with your own, or feel free to steal mine. When you say those words, feel it deep inside you. Place your hands back on your chest to help you feel it more in your heart. You can place your hands wherever you'd like on your body to continue soothing yourself while you say your mantra. Feel the safety deep within. Repeat the mantra a few times out loud. Make sure you are saying it slowly and that you mean it to influence your energy constructively.

Step 8 : Gratitude

This step will ground you even more in the present moment and within your body. It will relax you even more. To keep things manageable, thank your heart for opening up and helping you relax. Give thanks to your breath for helping you change your state. Give thanks to your body for having the capacity to create safety within it. And remember to thank YOURSELF for being willing to take these steps.

Step 9 : Eyes

Open them. You might notice that your surroundings seem visually clearer after these steps. Now is the time to ground even more in the present moment with your vision. Look at the palm of your hands for a few seconds; when you feel ready to move on, look at the ground and any object near you. Take it all in. Notice the colors and the shapes around you. Congratulations! You have shifted the lens through which you perceive things in the moment and are out of the trigger constellation.

Step 10 : Process

Once you become proficient at using these steps to snap yourself gently out of a triggered state, regulating your nervous system, and grounding yourself again and again in the present moment, you might realize that this is only part of a larger healing journey as it does not get rid of the triggers. Whenever a situation arises similar to the one that brought on the trigger activation in the first place, you may find yourself in a triggered state again and again, which will likely make you react instead of respond again. It is important to process these triggers once you are out of the activated and reactive state and have regulated your nervous system. Some of the methods include journaling, working with a licensed psychotherapist or another form of therapist or a coach, or even a friend or a family member that you trust and know can hold space for you while you process your triggers. It is usually (at least in the beginning) counter-intuitive to work on the trigger while you are triggered. So it's best to ground and center first and then process. "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." I wish I had said this quote, but I didn't; Einstein did.

Please Note: I want to emphasize that I am not saying that anything you experience in your outer life that invokes negative emotions in you is all happening because it is a trigger that you need to work on and not take any physical action to change your situation. If there is a change you need to make in the outer world to prevent any harm to you or anyone around you, if there is a boundary you need to set with someone, if you need to bring about a change in your outer circumstances because you are not satisfied with them, like a job or a relationship that does not serve your highest good, then I strongly advocate for taking aligned and constructive action. The steps in this blog are not to get you to deny your reality and gaslight yourself but to bring about some soothing and decrease the intensity of a strong reaction a trigger might bring about in you so that you can respond appropriately to the situation at hand. I also want to say that if you (or others you know) are dealing with mental health issues like (but not limited to) anxiety, depression, a history of trauma, and mental health issues arising as a result of it, please work with a licensed mental health professional before trying out these steps. I strongly advocate for getting all the help and support one might need on their healing journey.

Photo by Pablo Stanley : Photo by cottonbro studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/2-women-sitting-on-brown-wooden-chair-4101137/

Going back to my cousin, if you are wondering whether he is out of his trigger activation and able to focus back on the good things in his life, you are not alone. I would like to know the same. That conversation with him made me want to write this post. I'm very grateful to him for that. I will keep you all posted about his progress; stay tuned. Thanks for reading! All the best on your trigger journey. Happy healing!

Karandeep Singh
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